it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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