"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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