yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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