Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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