Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
