By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
