): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
