would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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