Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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