we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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