I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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