I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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