i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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