something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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