You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
