picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
