Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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