maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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