I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
