the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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