what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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