he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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