I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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