Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
