I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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