this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
