Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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