U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm at about main and main street
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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