I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
