After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
