From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
