How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
