no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
