talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
