You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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