How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
