Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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