i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
