Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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