Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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