the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
