If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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