i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize