Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
