You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
