I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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