Ambien. No doubt about it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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