my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
