Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
