would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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